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Friday, November 25, 2005
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doinkz. am back.. for a while. =/ to vent my frustrations, unhappiness and whatever.

today finally marks the day for my first paper. and guess what, first paper and early in the morning, sort of had a little argument with my mum. upon cooling, i felt that it was both our fault and my fault lies that i have sort of an attitude problem that i cant talk nicely to her whenever she start asking me when i bought this or that. and my attitude problem lies that if i didnt buy that thing, and you start asking me which sounds like you are interrogating me, i wont talk back nicely to you. and this morning, she saw the bag that doris, jac and si blyan bought for me, and she started asking me - in that tone that i dont like.. and i was already very -doinkz- [whatever you called it, for exams] and i dont really like being asked, you see. then, she is the kind who cant take my loud voice, the kind of mother whom you really have to treat her like one instead of like a friend [anyway, both of us borned in the year of ox - so you see].. and she was pissed. and whenever she is pissed, she would shout back at me, and blame me for making her pissed when this is such an insignificant incident. she want to feel pissed - and she blames me. *Argh*.. i am pissed too.

anyway, was feeling actually more upset than pissed because ultimately it seemed that i am in the wrong. =/ everything just go wrong today~! reached eusoff hall and settled down and everything and guess what, my seat is in the direction of that air-con! and for the 2 hours in the exam hall, it was freezing cold because the cold air of that air-con [which i bet must be a 16 degrees and plus the rainy weather outside], i was literally freezing to death on the spot. cant really write because i am so bloody cold in spite i worn a jacket and jeans [jeans okie, not shorts!], was totally covered and i was still freezing. fingers numb - cant write, brain numb - cant think. and the paper is a goner!

need to answer 5 questions in total. the first four was one big question all together. and guess what, i wrote a lot of part a, slightly less for part b, even lesser for part c and by the time i am at part d, i have a bit to write. and the question after that, a choice question out of two, i am not able to write because i have no idea how to answer both freaking questions. it was a bad paper.. =/ in the end, with the last 10 minutes that i have got, i crapped 1 page for the last question, literally without any knowledge of what is mentioned in the question. 10 marks gone like that~. =X but at least [in consolation], i managed to crap 6 pages in total [inclusive of the last question] for this paper. just pray that my crap works, and it must work! =X

okie, see, blogging is a good way to release whatever tensions/terrible emotions that you have got. i have packed up my feelings and am pretty much okie - now, it's time to prepare for round 2 - gender studies, at 9am [again] tomorrow.




I blogged at.. 1:28 PM